Thursday, August 23, 2007

where have i been?

This was written, by me, on Tuesday.

I have been in bed for the past 5 days.
Finally I'm feeling a bit better and I will go to work tomorrow, YAY!! I got a blister on my knee on i think the 13th and it blew up! I put bacitracin and bandaids, washed it and hot compress but the sore just kept getting bigger until I was at work thursday and it was so bad I went home early. More home remedies. All day friday, soaking it and taking aleve for the amazing pain. I knew it was infected and it looked awful, but I have had bad infections in the past and with a couple of days of bed rest and good care they have always cleared themselves up. I went to bed Friday night with it elevated. Saturday morning, I woke up in terrible pain. When I sat up the blood rushing into my leg made it throb like a warehouse rave. I limped to the bathroom to wash and change the dressing. When I pulled the bandage off what I saw looked like something you would see in a movie on a zombie's face or if you google "hideous sore". It was sort of like a cone volcano with a huge hole at the top, two white spots in the middle and the meaty parts around had turned black. Black, rotting flesh on my leg. I didn't need to see that. I washed and bandaged it without looking at it and called a taxi to go to the emergency room (thankfully, I have insurance). Mom never took us too the doctor unless we were spurting blood or had a bone sticking out. It takes quite a bit for me to get to the doctor. The only way I know how to get to a doctor is through the emergency room. The intake nurse called it "cellulitis" and referred me to the injury clinic right up the street. After a medium sized wait I was called in and Nathan, a tall, bald, softspoken, tattooed man looked at it. He asked me some questions and took my temp, 99.7. woo hoo, no wonder I was delirious, I have a fecking fever! He left me and told me that Arlene, the nurse would be there soon to take care of me. Several minutes passed as I lay back on the table. The knock on the door startled me, and in walked Arlene with a student nurse who didn't talk, just watched with great interest. Arlene was a small round woman, very motherly, or maybe aunt-ly. The kind you would expect to be wearing a sweatshirt with a very large cat face airbrushed on it and a floppy hat with a lot of pins. She said something along the lines of, "your leg? your leg? how can you worry about what's happening to your leg when you have ruined your skin with all those tattoos!" I just put my head down and didn't answer because I had a feeling she would be using a razor on my soon and i wanted her to like me. She took one look at my leg and said, "spider bite", which I had thought at first, but I was pretty sure it wasn't. She shaved some skin off with a razor, took a sample for a culture of the clearish fluid that was emanating so fast it was leaving rivulets down my leg, prescribed a ten day course of antibiotics and told me to keep it elevated, HIGH! She had me lay down and pushed my leg up so it was like I was sitting on a chair. "Like that, all the time unless you are washing it." I didn't bring up the questions of who was going to feed me and carry away my excrement. I figured she was being over-dramatic for emphasis. You know? Like saying the extreme and hoping I will do it half as good as she asks. Some kind of psychology, I'm sure. She told me to wash it everyday, once or twice, keep it covered with a clean bandage and take the meds. She also said "Stay in bed with your foot up and keep putting heat on it. Do you have a heating pad? NO? Ok, use rice. Uncooked white rice. Pour it in a sock, tie the sock at the open end and microwave it. 30 sec, then jiggle it to mix it up and 30 sec more." I was impressed with that idea. I was instructed to call back on Monday for the test results. So I left. I was waiting in the bus stop at Van Ness and I think Geary. Right there by the Lamborghini dealer. I was actually not looking forward to going and buying a bag of rice, all I wanted to do was go home and rest. I stepped in some gum. Hot melted in the sun gum. I moved over to the bus shelter to get out of the sun and TA-DA!!! There, shining on the sidewalk, lying in a shaft of light was a brand new, unopened bag of white rice. Like white rice from the gods. Store brand. The world works in mysterious ways. Sunday I texted my buddy Hell and asked if she would like to come over and get some photos of the wound and she said, yes. She was bringing her little boy adn sugessted we go to Dolores park which is just a couple of blocks from my house. I was already a little stir-crazy and said, yes, absolutely. We went with a four pack of beer and a deck of cards and watched the kids fight, I mean play on the playground. She got some shots of my leg and it was a really nice day sitting there, playing cards on the blanket in the grass. I thank you again, H for the suggestion. Sunday there was nothing to do. I read a book, I watched tv, I watched a movie, I got up and cleaned house until it hurt too bad and then I got back in bead. Lather, rinse, repeat. The sore kept getting bigger and when I took it down from elevated the pain of the blood surge was hurting more and more until I decided to keep elevating it but just not so high. Above my hip instead of above my head. That helped. Also I could then take the footstool I had been using out of the bet. We were both more comfortable. Footstools don't belong in beds. Monday, still bigger and now sheets of skin were washing off of it, making me wretch with happiness. UGH. I was really having a hard time looking at it and thinking about it didn't help either. I called the hosp early, like 9:30 am and the person told me that the preliminary results said Staph infection. She said they would call back in the after noon but no one did. I called at about 4:30 and sure enough, I have a little old staph infection. On my patella! Wanna have some fun? Google images of staph infection. I'll wait. Are you back? Done puking? Well, it hurts worse than it looks. Last night. Monday night. The worst. pain. ever. My boss was saying, in im, Hey, can't you just come in and work sitting down? He needs me! AWWWW! No, I can't. I have a note. I'm afraid of losing my job but I am more afraid of losing my leg. When I work up this morning (Tuesday) at a quarter of 9 I called boss to tell him I wasn't coming again today (I have a note excusing me until tomorrow, Wednesday PHBbbbTTTT!! I lay in bed for a few minutes dreading putting it on the floor because of the throb from the blood rush that was so unpleasant. Finally, I sat up and put my feet on the floor. Wincing in anticipation, but, what's this? It hurts, but the THROB was definitely less. I got up and walked and hardly had to limp at all. I went to the coffee shop downstairs to get a coffee and biscuit so I could take my antibiotics. The stairs were bad but man, what an improvement!

Unedited and then Wednesday I went to work.
I tried to remain in my chair most of the day with my foot up but my ankle still swelled to outrageous proportions and stayed that way all night until I woke up this morning.

I'm not posting the photo because it is far too disgusting, but if you want to see it, email me and we can do that.
I sent it to show me your wound. com but I haven't checked back and I don't know if they inform you of these things.
lemme go check
Well, now that I look it seems the site has had no activity since 2004.
Anyone know of another site like that?
Oh well.

I seem to be healing up rather nicely. Or at least not getting anyworse.

Self-Portrait Thursday, anyone?

It's my leggy all propped up on an intricate and complicated system of cardboard boxes and pillows.
see ya later.


vanoonoo said...

shit man - get that better soon - I havent googled it yet but I might - once my stomach has settled at the thought. yeuch. you poor thing - I hope you have people coming to check on you and bring you food - if I were nearer I'd bring you some grapes and lucozade xxx

art said...

aww man!! this is awful! i hope it heals QUICK! hey, guess what? i have a KIDNEY STONE!!! and 300MG of DILAUDID in me! i just came home from an all nighter at the VA hospital, where they took very good care of me!! they didnt send me home with any dilaudid, but i got the next best thing, 50 mg of hydrocodone 5 with acetaminophen, and 2 filters to pee into so i can catch the stone!! read all about it this morning at the drivel!!! i do hope the best for you, and hope you heal soon!! (((((((HUGS))))) ♥

Bindyree said...

My friend Hoodeeth she has a bad leg / If she get it cut off I will make her a peg / Dayyyy Oh. Dayy YYayy Oh.

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The Philosophy of Animal Rights by Tom Regan

The other animals humans eat, use in science, hunt, trap, and exploit in a variety of ways, have a life of their own that is of importance to them apart from their utility to us. They are not only in the world, they are aware of it. What happens to them matters to them. Each has a life that fares better or worse for the one whose life it is.

That life includes a variety of biological, individual, and social needs. The satisfaction of these needs is a source of pleasure, their frustration or abuse, a source of pain. In these fundamental ways, the nonhuman animals in labs and on farms, for example, are the same as human beings. And so it is that the ethics of our dealings with them, and with one another, must acknowledge the same fundamental moral principles.

At its deepest level, human ethics is based on the independent value of the individual: The moral worth of any one human being is not to be measured by how useful that person is in advancing the interest of other human beings. To treat human beings in ways that do not honor their independent value is to violate that most basic of human rights: the right of each person to be treated with respect.

The philosophy of animal rights demands only that logic be respected. For any argument that plausibly explains the independent value of human beings implies that other animals have this same value, and have it equally. And any argument that plausibly explains the right of humans to be treated with respect, also implies that these other animals have this same right, and have it equally, too.

It is true, therefore, that women do not exist to serve men, blacks to serve whites, the poor to serve the rich, or the weak to serve the strong. The philosophy of animal rights not only accepts these truths, it insists upon and justifies them.

But this philosophy goes further. By insisting upon and justifying the independent value and rights of other animals, it gives scientifically informed and morally impartial reasons for denying that these animals exist to serve us.

Once this truth is acknowledged, it is easy to understand why the philosophy of animal rights is uncompromising in its response to each and every injustice other animals are made to suffer.

It is not larger, cleaner cages that justice demands in the case of animals used in science, for example, but empty cages: not "traditional" animal agriculture, but a complete end to all commerce in the flesh of dead animals; not "more humane" hunting and trapping, but the total eradication of these barbarous practices.

For when an injustice is absolute, one must oppose it absolutely. It was not "reformed" slavery that justice demanded, not "reformed" child labor, not "reformed" subjugation of women. In each of these cases, abolition was the only moral answer. Merely to reform injustice is to prolong injustice.

The philosophy of animal rights demands this same answer - abolition - in response to the unjust exploitation of other animals. It is not the details of unjust exploitation that must be changed. It is the unjust exploitation itself that must be ended, whether on the farm, in the lab, or among the wild, for example. The philosophy of animal rights asks for nothing more, but neither will it be satisfied with anything less.

Haiku Disclaimer

This works for me now
Find your own path and never
Take advice from fools

Insprirational Vegan Quotes

1. Animals that live in the wild kill other animals in order to eat. If I also lived in the wild would it still be inhumane to kill an animal to eat?? What about if I raised chickens in my backyard and cultivated their eggs for my breakfast omelet, is this inhumane?
A: Because animal flesh and products are not needed for human nutrition killing and eating them is inhumane in any circumstances. No kind of slavery is humane no matter how well the slave is treated. You can't respect someone and then exploit her for her eggs/milk/honey.

2. Do animal rights moralists take into consideration the domestication of animals i.e. history of farming, farming as the back bone to the establishment of the first civilizations. There’s not much literature about the reasons animals have become a central part of human life?
A: History is no excuse to continue to exploit non humans. Animals are not needed for human nutrition. That is a myth perpetuated by industries which make money exploiting non human animals.

3. Is domestication against animals rights? If so, does that make having a dog or cat or horse inhumane?
A: At this time there are a lot of domesticated animals that need tending. Most domesticated animals are just that. They would not exist as we know them if not for domestication. Breeding animals for pets or for food is unnecessary and inhumane. Adopt animals, have them spayed or neutered. Give them a comfortable home where they can live out their lives without being exploited. With time the numbers of "non-food" and "food" animals will go down and eventually there will be no more domesticated food animals or pets.

Ethical veganism results in a profound revolution within the individual; a complete rejection of the paradigm of oppression and violence that she has been taught from childhood to accept as the natural order. It changes her life and the lives of those with whom she shares this vision of nonviolence. Ethical veganism is anything but passive; on the contrary, it is the active refusal to cooperate with injustice. ~Gary L. Francione

Merely by ceasing to eat meat

Merely by practicing restraint
We have the power to end a painful industry

We do not have to bear arms to end this evil
We do not have to contribute money
We do not have to sit in jail or go to
meetings or demonstrations or
engage in acts of civil disobedience
Most often, the act of repairing the world,
of healing mortal wounds,
is left to heroes and tzaddikim (holy people)
Saints and people of unusual discipline
But here is an action every mortal can
perform--surely it is not too difficult! ~Roberta Kalechofsky of Jews for Animal Rights

The ten commandments of Mother Earth

1. Thou shall love and honor the Earth for it blesses thy life and governs thy survival.
2. Thou shall keep each day sacred to the Earth and celebrate the turning of its seasons.
3. Thou shall not hold thyself above other living things nor drive them to extinction.
4. Thou shall give thanks for thy food, to the creatures and plants that nourish thee.
5. Thou shall educate thy offspring for multitudes of people are a blessing unto the Earth when we live in harmony.
6. Thou shall not kill, nor waste Earth's riches upon weapons of war.
7. Thou shall not pursue profit at the Earth's expense but strive to restore its damaged majesty.
8. Thou shall not hide from thyself or others the consequences of thy actions upon the Earth.
9. Thou shall not steal from future generations by impoverishing or poisoning the Earth.
10. Thou shall consume material goods in moderation so all may share the Earth's bounty. ~Ernest Callenbach

"This is what passes for "food" in America today: A collection of nutritionally-obliterated, hormonally-enhanced, chemically-adulterated shapes of refined whatever, all hyped up to make them seem like real food when in fact they're just agricultural byproducts devoid of any real nutrition." ~Mike Adams

"I like not eating animals. Animals are our friends and we shouldn't eat them. Animals need us to take care of them and save them. My mom cooks us vegetables and pretend hamburgers and hotdogs and chicken nuggets and they are healthy for you and taste good! I told all my friends 'you should NOT eat animals!' I hit my friend Levi because he was eating a ham sandwich and wouldn't stop. Then mom said that Levi is an animal too and we have to be nice to all animals even if they eat other animals. I said sorry to Levi, but I wish he would not eat animals anymore. I also like not eating animals because my mom says it helps the earth, like recycling." ~Jacob, 6 yrs old

You see, in life, lots of people know what to do, but few people actually do what they know. Knowing is not enough! You must take action.~Anthony Robbins

It only takes a spark
~Daniel Andreas San Diego

Some people are still going to want to eat meat. We do agree though that vegetarianism is a healthier diet.
~David Stroud (of the American Meat Institute)

For that which befalls the sons of men befalls beasts ;

even one thing befall them: as the one dies, so dies the other. They have all one breath; so that a man has no preeminence above a beast: for all is vanity. All go to one place; all are of the dust, and all turn to dust again. Who knows that the spirit of man goes upward, and the spirit of the beast goes downward to the earth? ~Ecclesiastes iii., 19, 20, 21.

There is no such thing as cruelty free slaughter or humane killing.
No slave is happy no matter what the owner tells you.
Go Vegan NOW!
Do it for the cows that have their babies taken away again and again for milk production.
Do it for the chickens who are de-beaked for egg production.
Do it for the pigs who have to nurse their babies on concrete floors.
Do it for the millions of humans who don't know any better.
Do it for the planet.
Do it for your health.

Do it because there is NO SUCH THING as humane slaughter.~
Judith Barnes

Auschwitz begins whenever someone looks at a slaughterhouse and thinks: they're only animals.

~Theodor Adorno

If only I could so live and so serve the world that after me there should never again be birds in cages.
~Isak Dinesen (pen name of Karen Blixen), author (1885-1962)

How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.
~Anne Frank

If "rights" exist at all— and both feeling and usage indubitably prove that they do exist —they cannot be consistency awarded to men and denied to animals, since the same sense of justice and compassion apply in both cases.
~Henry Salt, 1892

You ask people why they have deer heads on the wall. They always say, Because it's such a beautiful animal. There you go. I think my mother's attractive, but I have photographs of her.
~Ellen DeGeneres

A man can live and be healthy without killing animals for food; therefore, if he eats meat, he participates in taking animal life merely for the sake of his appetite. And to act so is immoral.
~Leo Tolstoy

Raw foods create living bodies, and cooked foods create dying bodies
~Sabrina Aird, Grass Root co-owner

You say it’s my personal choice, it’s not a personal choice when you’re ruining my planet and you’re eating my friends
~ Dave Warwak

The animals of the world exist for their own reasons. They were not made for humans any more than black people were made for whites, or women created for men.
~ Alice Walker

Thou Shalt Not Kill
~ The Christian Bible

If the world were merely seductive, that would be easy; if the world were merely challenging, that would be no problem. But I wake up each morning torn between a desire to save the world and a desire to savor the world. This makes it very hard to plan the day.
~E. B. White

Don’t want to ruin the oceans? Go vegan.
Don’t like the environmental problems of the soy industry? Go vegan.
Don’t like monoculture? Go vegan.
Don’t like the environmental problems of the petroleum industry? Go vegan.
Don’t like greenhouse gas emission? Go vegan.
Don’t like animal exploitation and cruelty? Go vegan.
Want environmental sustainability? Go vegan.
Want to feed the hungry? Go vegan.
Want to save water? Go vegan.
Want to cut air and water pollution? Go vegan.
Want to slow global warming? Go vegan.
Want to reduce the risk of heart attacks, strokes, diabetes, obesity, and cancer? Go vegan.
There is no absolutely single personal change that the average person can make that has a better impact on the environment than going vegan.
~Dan Cudahy

Honey is not vegan. It is an animal product, it came from the inside of an animal that produced it, not for you to sweeten your tea, but for a baby bee to live and grow on. Using honey or products made with beeswax are not on the vegan menu.

What is it that should trace the insuperable line? ...The question is not, Can they reason? nor Can they talk? but, Can they suffer?

~Jeremy Bentham (1748-1832)

Can you really ask what reason Pythagoras had for abstaining from flesh? For my part I rather wonder both by what accident and in what state of soul or mind the first man did so, touched his mouth to gore and brought his lips to the flesh of a dead creature, he who set forth tables of dead, stale bodies and ventured to call food and nourishment the parts that had a little before bellowed and cried, moved and lived.

How could his eyes endure the slaughter when throats were slit and hides flayed and limbs torn from limb? How could his nose endure the stench? How was it that the pollution did not turn away his taste, which made contact with the sores of others and sucked juices and serums from mortal wounds?

It is certainly not lions and wolves that we eat out of self-defense; on the contrary, we ignore these and slaughter harmless,tame creatures without stings or teeth to harm us, creatures that, I swear, Nature appears to have produced for the sake of their beauty and grace.

But nothing abashed us, not the flower-like like tinting of the flesh, not the persuasiveness of the harmonious voice, not the cleanliness of their habits or the unusual intelligence that may be found in the poor wretches.

No, for the sake of a little flesh we deprive them of sun, of light, of the duration of life to which they are entitled by birth and being.~Plutarch

I abhor vivisection. It should at least be curbed. Better, it should be abolished. I know of no achievement through vivisection, no scientific discovery, that could not have been obtained without such barbarism and cruelty. The whole thing is evil.~Charles Mayo (founder of the Mayo Clinic)

Truly man is the king of beasts, for his brutality exceeds them. We live by the death of others. We are burial places.~Leonardo Da Vinci