Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Terrifiying, yet oddly thrilling

I got my underarms waxed today.
I also re-learned that we don’t call them “armpits”. It’s underarms.

I caught the 14 limited after work which would drop me off at 16th or 24th (both are an even distance from my apartment) and I got off at 16th. I decided to go get my brows waxed since it’s been a while and they were starting to look really bushy. After you hit about 35 your eyebrows start doing weird stuff if you leave them alone.

Five bucks for a wax at the SF College of Beauty.
Also $5 for a manicure but I don’t want to get those there anymore, to many bad memories of getting cut.

The wait was short. Five minutes, tops. It was sunny in the window waiting area and I enjoyed the warm.

Back to the Facial Room. I always feel so special when they take me to the Facial Room.
Little did I know at the moment how special I would feel in less than half an hour.

This time around there were two of them. One a new student, young Asian girl and one was the instructor, older Asian woman. Probably not much older than me.

Younger worked while Older instructed and the whole thing went pretty well, except the wax kept getting hotter and hotter until near the end I said, "hey, the wax is pretty hot".
Older said that the machine was broke down and they needed a new one.
OK, we were almost done anyway and I really can take a lot of pain to the face.

Right about then the door popped open and a woman said are you ok to take an underarm? Older said, sure, no problem and I said, “ooh, you do armpits? I want my armpits done”
“You mean your underarms?”
Me coyly, “yesssss”.
“Ok, after this next man, you can go, just pay the cashier and wait”.
“Mmmkay”

It was an Indian man. Like from India. He looked like a businessperson, maybe owned his own store or hotel. I have no idea why he was getting his arm-- underarms done but he was. At the SF College of Beauty.

Different strokes.

Then, he was done. They readied the room and called me back, WOO HOO!

Older says, “take of your shirt”.
Terrifying and oddly thrilling.
I stripped down to my bra and turned to the younger, since older was out of the room. “Should I take off my bra, too?” This was when I realized she did not have one word of English.
I pointed to my chestal region and pantomime like take the bra off, she says “No, no, keep, keep”.
I kept.
Older came back.
“Lay on the table.
Both arms over head”. Oh yeah, they are gonna double team me!
Whee!

Flashback.
I waxed my own armpits, I mean underarms, once. By myself. Alone.
I did it with fully-grown hair and all in one fell swoop.

There were a few tears.

Back to the story.
Younger is stationed at Leftie and Older is on Rightie.
They begin discussing the state of my pits in a language that I do not know.
Younger points at Leftie and says, “What’s that?”
I peer over and see a bit of burgundy fuzz that came from the shirt I wore today. It is after work and I am a bit sweaty. It could have looked like a scab to an outward observer. I pick it off and hold it up for her and say, “FUZZ” and flick it into the ether.
Maybe it was on the floor. Either way, she grabbed a pair of scissors.
Scissors.

EEP!!

“What are you gonna do with them things?” My backwoods country fuck side sometimes comes out when I’m scared.
“Too long, we cut”
Oh.
She started going at my pits with the scissors like a landscaper after a hedge.

There was no more than three weeks growth in there; it was not more than a quarter inch long, I swear.
I just lay there waiting for her to nip me and eventually she did.
Ouch.
I said “Ow. Dammit, I knew that was going to happen”. Older looked at me in a comforting way. She had a strange yellow spot on her forehead. I tried not to stare at it.
Then they started waxing me.
Double team.
With large Popsicle sticks they dip in the hot wax and then blow on it before putting on my sensitive pit skin.
Terrifying, yet oddly thrilling, these unsanitary procedures you have.

Just do not cut me anymore, I will be good.

The wiping on of the wax was the worst part. Much stretching of very sensitive skin.
The thing that surprised me was they did not do it all in one rip. They did six or seven small areas. Older explained to me that they had to do it in the direction the hair grows and the hair grows in all different directions (in that area), therefore, they had to do many small patch rather than one large one.

Another strange thing was the fact that the two of them were working me both at the same time. I tried to be ready for each rip, but one would distract me and the other would rip, so I would go “AI!!” with every rip.
All three of us found this hi-larious and were very soon reduced to giggles over the whole thing.

Overall, it was a good experience and I would recommend it.

5 comments:

art said...

fun for the whole family, maybe? hehehehee!!!

J said...

Fuck fuck fuck. I used the epilator on my pits once, and it about fucking killed me. My eyes teared up just reading this.

I'm getting laser on my pits and a brazillian on my cooch in the next couple weeks. Viva la hairless!

relaxbcool said...

Speaking as a hairy guy - I find this whole behavure pattern rather a puzzle - but then perhaps its all down to grooming one anouther and that could only be a nice thing. Enjoy :-)

Anonymous said...

You must be quite the Sasquatch the way you describe all this excess body hair you have. Phew, I can just imagine the stench coming off of you after one of your workouts. Gotta go, the thought of you after a workout is turning me off bigtime!

Zucchini Breath said...

haha, anonymous.

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The Philosophy of Animal Rights by Tom Regan


The other animals humans eat, use in science, hunt, trap, and exploit in a variety of ways, have a life of their own that is of importance to them apart from their utility to us. They are not only in the world, they are aware of it. What happens to them matters to them. Each has a life that fares better or worse for the one whose life it is.

That life includes a variety of biological, individual, and social needs. The satisfaction of these needs is a source of pleasure, their frustration or abuse, a source of pain. In these fundamental ways, the nonhuman animals in labs and on farms, for example, are the same as human beings. And so it is that the ethics of our dealings with them, and with one another, must acknowledge the same fundamental moral principles.

At its deepest level, human ethics is based on the independent value of the individual: The moral worth of any one human being is not to be measured by how useful that person is in advancing the interest of other human beings. To treat human beings in ways that do not honor their independent value is to violate that most basic of human rights: the right of each person to be treated with respect.

The philosophy of animal rights demands only that logic be respected. For any argument that plausibly explains the independent value of human beings implies that other animals have this same value, and have it equally. And any argument that plausibly explains the right of humans to be treated with respect, also implies that these other animals have this same right, and have it equally, too.

It is true, therefore, that women do not exist to serve men, blacks to serve whites, the poor to serve the rich, or the weak to serve the strong. The philosophy of animal rights not only accepts these truths, it insists upon and justifies them.

But this philosophy goes further. By insisting upon and justifying the independent value and rights of other animals, it gives scientifically informed and morally impartial reasons for denying that these animals exist to serve us.

Once this truth is acknowledged, it is easy to understand why the philosophy of animal rights is uncompromising in its response to each and every injustice other animals are made to suffer.

It is not larger, cleaner cages that justice demands in the case of animals used in science, for example, but empty cages: not "traditional" animal agriculture, but a complete end to all commerce in the flesh of dead animals; not "more humane" hunting and trapping, but the total eradication of these barbarous practices.

For when an injustice is absolute, one must oppose it absolutely. It was not "reformed" slavery that justice demanded, not "reformed" child labor, not "reformed" subjugation of women. In each of these cases, abolition was the only moral answer. Merely to reform injustice is to prolong injustice.

The philosophy of animal rights demands this same answer - abolition - in response to the unjust exploitation of other animals. It is not the details of unjust exploitation that must be changed. It is the unjust exploitation itself that must be ended, whether on the farm, in the lab, or among the wild, for example. The philosophy of animal rights asks for nothing more, but neither will it be satisfied with anything less.

Haiku Disclaimer

This works for me now
Find your own path and never
Take advice from fools

Insprirational Vegan Quotes

1. Animals that live in the wild kill other animals in order to eat. If I also lived in the wild would it still be inhumane to kill an animal to eat?? What about if I raised chickens in my backyard and cultivated their eggs for my breakfast omelet, is this inhumane?
A: Because animal flesh and products are not needed for human nutrition killing and eating them is inhumane in any circumstances. No kind of slavery is humane no matter how well the slave is treated. You can't respect someone and then exploit her for her eggs/milk/honey.

2. Do animal rights moralists take into consideration the domestication of animals i.e. history of farming, farming as the back bone to the establishment of the first civilizations. There’s not much literature about the reasons animals have become a central part of human life?
A: History is no excuse to continue to exploit non humans. Animals are not needed for human nutrition. That is a myth perpetuated by industries which make money exploiting non human animals.

3. Is domestication against animals rights? If so, does that make having a dog or cat or horse inhumane?
A: At this time there are a lot of domesticated animals that need tending. Most domesticated animals are just that. They would not exist as we know them if not for domestication. Breeding animals for pets or for food is unnecessary and inhumane. Adopt animals, have them spayed or neutered. Give them a comfortable home where they can live out their lives without being exploited. With time the numbers of "non-food" and "food" animals will go down and eventually there will be no more domesticated food animals or pets.

Ethical veganism results in a profound revolution within the individual; a complete rejection of the paradigm of oppression and violence that she has been taught from childhood to accept as the natural order. It changes her life and the lives of those with whom she shares this vision of nonviolence. Ethical veganism is anything but passive; on the contrary, it is the active refusal to cooperate with injustice. ~Gary L. Francione

Merely by ceasing to eat meat

Merely by practicing restraint
We have the power to end a painful industry

We do not have to bear arms to end this evil
We do not have to contribute money
We do not have to sit in jail or go to
meetings or demonstrations or
engage in acts of civil disobedience
Most often, the act of repairing the world,
of healing mortal wounds,
is left to heroes and tzaddikim (holy people)
Saints and people of unusual discipline
But here is an action every mortal can
perform--surely it is not too difficult! ~Roberta Kalechofsky of Jews for Animal Rights

The ten commandments of Mother Earth


1. Thou shall love and honor the Earth for it blesses thy life and governs thy survival.
2. Thou shall keep each day sacred to the Earth and celebrate the turning of its seasons.
3. Thou shall not hold thyself above other living things nor drive them to extinction.
4. Thou shall give thanks for thy food, to the creatures and plants that nourish thee.
5. Thou shall educate thy offspring for multitudes of people are a blessing unto the Earth when we live in harmony.
6. Thou shall not kill, nor waste Earth's riches upon weapons of war.
7. Thou shall not pursue profit at the Earth's expense but strive to restore its damaged majesty.
8. Thou shall not hide from thyself or others the consequences of thy actions upon the Earth.
9. Thou shall not steal from future generations by impoverishing or poisoning the Earth.
10. Thou shall consume material goods in moderation so all may share the Earth's bounty. ~Ernest Callenbach

"This is what passes for "food" in America today: A collection of nutritionally-obliterated, hormonally-enhanced, chemically-adulterated shapes of refined whatever, all hyped up to make them seem like real food when in fact they're just agricultural byproducts devoid of any real nutrition." ~Mike Adams


"I like not eating animals. Animals are our friends and we shouldn't eat them. Animals need us to take care of them and save them. My mom cooks us vegetables and pretend hamburgers and hotdogs and chicken nuggets and they are healthy for you and taste good! I told all my friends 'you should NOT eat animals!' I hit my friend Levi because he was eating a ham sandwich and wouldn't stop. Then mom said that Levi is an animal too and we have to be nice to all animals even if they eat other animals. I said sorry to Levi, but I wish he would not eat animals anymore. I also like not eating animals because my mom says it helps the earth, like recycling." ~Jacob, 6 yrs old


You see, in life, lots of people know what to do, but few people actually do what they know. Knowing is not enough! You must take action.~Anthony Robbins

It only takes a spark
~Daniel Andreas San Diego

Some people are still going to want to eat meat. We do agree though that vegetarianism is a healthier diet.
~David Stroud (of the American Meat Institute)

For that which befalls the sons of men befalls beasts ;

even one thing befall them: as the one dies, so dies the other. They have all one breath; so that a man has no preeminence above a beast: for all is vanity. All go to one place; all are of the dust, and all turn to dust again. Who knows that the spirit of man goes upward, and the spirit of the beast goes downward to the earth? ~Ecclesiastes iii., 19, 20, 21.

There is no such thing as cruelty free slaughter or humane killing.
No slave is happy no matter what the owner tells you.
Go Vegan NOW!
Do it for the cows that have their babies taken away again and again for milk production.
Do it for the chickens who are de-beaked for egg production.
Do it for the pigs who have to nurse their babies on concrete floors.
Do it for the millions of humans who don't know any better.
Do it for the planet.
Do it for your health.

Do it because there is NO SUCH THING as humane slaughter.~
Judith Barnes

Auschwitz begins whenever someone looks at a slaughterhouse and thinks: they're only animals.

~Theodor Adorno

If only I could so live and so serve the world that after me there should never again be birds in cages.
~Isak Dinesen (pen name of Karen Blixen), author (1885-1962)

How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.
~Anne Frank

If "rights" exist at all— and both feeling and usage indubitably prove that they do exist —they cannot be consistency awarded to men and denied to animals, since the same sense of justice and compassion apply in both cases.
~Henry Salt, 1892

You ask people why they have deer heads on the wall. They always say, Because it's such a beautiful animal. There you go. I think my mother's attractive, but I have photographs of her.
~Ellen DeGeneres

A man can live and be healthy without killing animals for food; therefore, if he eats meat, he participates in taking animal life merely for the sake of his appetite. And to act so is immoral.
~Leo Tolstoy

Raw foods create living bodies, and cooked foods create dying bodies
~Sabrina Aird, Grass Root co-owner

You say it’s my personal choice, it’s not a personal choice when you’re ruining my planet and you’re eating my friends
~ Dave Warwak

The animals of the world exist for their own reasons. They were not made for humans any more than black people were made for whites, or women created for men.
~ Alice Walker

Thou Shalt Not Kill
~ The Christian Bible

If the world were merely seductive, that would be easy; if the world were merely challenging, that would be no problem. But I wake up each morning torn between a desire to save the world and a desire to savor the world. This makes it very hard to plan the day.
~E. B. White

Don’t want to ruin the oceans? Go vegan.
Don’t like the environmental problems of the soy industry? Go vegan.
Don’t like monoculture? Go vegan.
Don’t like the environmental problems of the petroleum industry? Go vegan.
Don’t like greenhouse gas emission? Go vegan.
Don’t like animal exploitation and cruelty? Go vegan.
Want environmental sustainability? Go vegan.
Want to feed the hungry? Go vegan.
Want to save water? Go vegan.
Want to cut air and water pollution? Go vegan.
Want to slow global warming? Go vegan.
Want to reduce the risk of heart attacks, strokes, diabetes, obesity, and cancer? Go vegan.
There is no absolutely single personal change that the average person can make that has a better impact on the environment than going vegan.
~Dan Cudahy

Honey is not vegan. It is an animal product, it came from the inside of an animal that produced it, not for you to sweeten your tea, but for a baby bee to live and grow on. Using honey or products made with beeswax are not on the vegan menu.

What is it that should trace the insuperable line? ...The question is not, Can they reason? nor Can they talk? but, Can they suffer?

~Jeremy Bentham (1748-1832)

Can you really ask what reason Pythagoras had for abstaining from flesh? For my part I rather wonder both by what accident and in what state of soul or mind the first man did so, touched his mouth to gore and brought his lips to the flesh of a dead creature, he who set forth tables of dead, stale bodies and ventured to call food and nourishment the parts that had a little before bellowed and cried, moved and lived.

How could his eyes endure the slaughter when throats were slit and hides flayed and limbs torn from limb? How could his nose endure the stench? How was it that the pollution did not turn away his taste, which made contact with the sores of others and sucked juices and serums from mortal wounds?

It is certainly not lions and wolves that we eat out of self-defense; on the contrary, we ignore these and slaughter harmless,tame creatures without stings or teeth to harm us, creatures that, I swear, Nature appears to have produced for the sake of their beauty and grace.

But nothing abashed us, not the flower-like like tinting of the flesh, not the persuasiveness of the harmonious voice, not the cleanliness of their habits or the unusual intelligence that may be found in the poor wretches.

No, for the sake of a little flesh we deprive them of sun, of light, of the duration of life to which they are entitled by birth and being.~Plutarch

I abhor vivisection. It should at least be curbed. Better, it should be abolished. I know of no achievement through vivisection, no scientific discovery, that could not have been obtained without such barbarism and cruelty. The whole thing is evil.~Charles Mayo (founder of the Mayo Clinic)

Truly man is the king of beasts, for his brutality exceeds them. We live by the death of others. We are burial places.~Leonardo Da Vinci

DO NOT BREED OR BUY WHILE SHELTER PETS DIE!